"when the sky begins to fall"

we've been digging the hole
for far too many years
and it'll be time to say goodbye
when we all just disappear

C:
so is this how it ends
doesn't really matter at all
i'll be right beside you
when the sky begins to fall

the world grows silent
and time slows to a crawl
i'll be right beside you
when the sky begins to fall

what have we done
it's only begun

-----------------------------------

"reflection"

1st chorus:
the reflections that you see
are far too faded for me
i'm fighting to break free
you're not what I'll ever be

2nd chorus:
the reflections that you see
are far too faded for me
i'm fighting to break free
you're not what I'll ever fucking be
it's become so hard to believe
the reality that we perceive
oh how much you've been deceived
I think it's time for you to leave

is it just me?

now, I've not been to many "industrial" shows. pretty much Nails and 51 Peg and that's it. but as it seems, when you went to a show for industrial music, it really wasn't all that dissimilar from a rock 'n roll show. you had guitars(albeit likely heavily distorted), on occasion you had a real drummer, and most importantly, you had that same energy.

nowadays, it seems like fans in the "industrial scene*(vomit)" are only interested in "club nights" and seeing the frontman of one of today's terrible "industrial" acts play DJ for a couple hours instead of actually playing music. now it may be argued that energy on a dance floor could rival that of a rock or metal show. Probably true, but it's a different kind of energy. It's not even close to the same.

maybe those of us that are not trying to pander to this crowd should try to garner fans that aren't so diluted. you want to dance? go to a rave. when I start performing all I want from people is to just chill out and enjoy the show, have some drinks, and have a good time.


*I really hate this fucking word.

p.s. I am now 1/4 century old.

works in progress.
------------------------------

i am my own obstruction
breeding self-destruction
digging a deeper hole
failure i can't control

i've got too much ambition
yet i lack inspiration
this repeating pattern
and it just keeps on turning

i'm backed up to the wall
and there's nowhere to run
can't seem to fight myself
when i've become undone

-------------------------------------

even after all
i'm still stronger than you
you may see a wall
but I just push right through

your greed is a virtue
that i will never share

It occurs to me that a growing number of independent artists I have met on Myspace and other such sites(some I would even call friends) are seriously considering giving up on music. Their reasoning? Money(as if it should come as any surprise). More bitching about piracy. More bitching about it not being worth it. Sorry fellas, but if that's the way you see things, then your heart was never in it to begin with. Electronic musicians today sicken me. One for example, has completely given up on industrial. He now fronts a band that plays a style that is very popular on the radio. To me, that is the absolute definition of sell out. Well best of luck buddy.

The real problem with industrial music(or any type of electronic music) today is simple. Complete and blatant lack of originality or substance. Everyone is just out to emulate their favorite "industrial" band(9 out of 10 it's Combichrist). The "scene" or whatever the fuck you pricks want to call it, is so overpopulated with total garbage, that it is hard for something interesting and new to shine through it all.

So, what do people in this situation do? Give up or press on it seems. Honestly, it's going to be nice to separate the true musicians, the ones who are mind, body and soul 100% into what they do, from those out there who just picked up an Access Virus just because it was "cool" and "all my favorite bands use it".

I'm releasing my next album as a FREE, high-quality mp3 download. Probably distributed by torrent.

What side of the fence do you think I'm on?

Fuck off.

Firstly, I'm disappointed in you, Pennsylvania. You can probably guess why (hint: it's about politics).

Down to business.

1. The move was successful and I am very comfortable in my new recording space:

2. I'm no longer using Reason as my primary musical program. I'm moving on to Ableton Live and VSTs, and loving it. I feel renewed inspiration now and am really digging in. I absolutely adore the Tension plug-in that came with Live, since I'm a sucker for a plucked string sound, and putting all sorts of effects on it.

3. I've been really messing around with the Ebow lately, and getting some crazy feedback sounds out of it when held a certain way, it's really cool and I need to just record myself fucking around for later use.

4. I'm going to work on a cover soon. It's a well known song, or at least it should be. The band is still recognizable today, and the song is from the early 90's. I can't really think of anyone else covering it, honestly. Everyone can send me a guess. Or just wait.

5. More and more lyrical ideas are coming to me. I may finally be settling into having to be a lyricist. I just hope they sound as good sung as they do on paper, or on the computer screen in this case.

6. I'm going to stop being social soon and really concentrate on the work ahead.

It appears that the latest Nine Inch Nails release, "Ghosts I-IV", is going to be a HUGE success for Mr. Reznor. I couldn't be happier that this type of business model finally seems to be working well for someone. Sorry Trent, I only bought the $10 version, because I don't have a Blu-ray player and honestly, we both know that the multi-tracks will hit the torrent sites the day it reaches someones hand. That said, the printed book would have been very cool to have.

Onto my point, and why I'm posting this in a blog that solely pertains to my own musical endeavors. Just a couple weeks ago I was pondering over good ways for an independent artist to release music today. One of the ideas I posed was selling a pre-order of your physical CD along with an immediate download of the mp3s. Oddly enough, I was thinking around $10 as a fair price for this, CDs are too expensive nowadays. Now I'm not saying that my idea was stolen or anything, anyone could have thought of it, but it is nice to see that it can work. It just remains to be seen if it will work for someone who isn't as well known as Trent Reznor.

Unfortunately, it's looking more and more likely that I will have to stick with digital release only for now. Now if my fanbase starts to drastically grow when I start revealing vocal tracks, then maybe I can go back to this original plan. I figure as long as I were to sell at least 100 preorders, I could still do the physical release.

More music on the way, for now enjoy a demo version of "Enemy" on my Myspace or Vampirefreaks page.